Advice?

   Hey! Standard 'Welcome' here. New visitors are requested to read Introducing Me and returning visitors, Welcome Back!

   So, in a previous blog entry (Two Overviews), I talked about what my depression and social anxiety is like. My last entry mentioned a little about the origin of my social anxiety. This one will talk about not the origin of my depression, but how I started to understand it.
   As I've said, I don't feel that overwhelming sadness everyone thinks it is. I'm pretty sure that's grief, which I have experienced. Anyway, most of the time when I've pinpointed my depression coming forward, it's mostly a guilty feeling. It gets very overwhelming and soon that's all I think about. Still, that's not what happens every time. Most of the time I don't know what feelings I have, then everything feels dull. Those different situations create my 'bad spells'.
   I figured out early on that it was depression. I'd already heard about it often from my family and doctors as several members of my family have it. It took a little while longer for me to realize that I had social anxiety (the discovery of that is a different story). But that's how I started to figure it out.
   I'd had therapists in the past. And that didn't always help. It would help in the respect that I could talk to someone who didn't have preconceived thoughts of who I was, so there wasn't much bias. It wouldn't help in the respect that I eventually saw one too long and only a few times during the month. After a while, the conversations reached a plateau and we had to stop. But that doesn't mean I don't understand the need for a therapist. I've been going through the process to find a new one.
   Anyway, there is another way I had help figuring it out. My friends helped out a good deal. Nora, Violet, and Abigail are my primary support system. I honestly cannot thank them enough for everything they've done for me. I'll be mentioning them in this blog. Another I may mention is Carmen, a former friend that I do not always feel pleasant about.
   I probably didn't make it as clear as I would have wanted, but hopefully after I explain the meaning of the last several paragraphs it will make sense.

   A lot of people don't know how to help or, I don't prefer this term, 'deal with' those who have depression. Honestly, just being there for the person helps a lot. For me, all I needed was someone to talk to. Sure, I'd prefer advice and during my bad spells, I'd try push for it. Overtime I've learned that you can't force people to understand. What you can do is try to find a way that they can relate to it. I haven't always found the right words, but it does work a good deal of the time.
   To summarize, just be there. Offer a kind word, but more often than not just a listening ear. Don't push, but don't dismiss.

   I really hope this helps both sides. Leave questions in the comments if you were confused about anything. And don't be afraid to ask for advice. You can even offer advice! I've said this is to give others a voice, fighters and those giving aid alike.
   Till next time!

-Kayla