Normal (Not!)

   Hello! New readers, please proceed to Introducing Me (when you can). And returning readers, glad to see you again! Hope you've been fine. :)

   Now, after the last two entries, I honestly wasn't sure which idea to pick out of my head for this one. So we'll go with the basics of yours truly.

   I've already said most of the basics of my depression and social anxiety. But how about the basics of normal me. And normal me is not "normal".

   I'm not a girly-girl. I'm not a tom-boy, either. I'm more of a book nerd. Ask me any question, say, about Harry Potter or any of Rick Riordan's books. I'll have a several hour conversation about it. I also love movies (How to Train Your Dragon) and tv shows (Once Upon a Time, Doctor Who, Grimm, etc). I love writing as well.

   But my hobbies are just a part of me. I'm insecure at times, too. Well, makes sense with everything else I've said in the other entries. Still, my friends would be surprised if I admitted that sometimes: "I think I'm fat; I don't actually just wing my outfits; I'm very organized and hate going out of pattern; and other things." These aren't all the time though. Some of them are occasional thoughts that fly through my head. The pattern thing though is definitely a problem for me. If I don't follow a basic pattern, my whole day is out of whack. Luckily, it's not like "plan the whole day, details and all" and everything blows up if it's not followed. Nah, it's just knowing where I'm going next, mostly.

   Anyway, sometimes I'll get bothered at no answer to messages. You know, send a text/email/whatever and no answer, even if you know they've most likely seen it, and still no message? Yeah, that'll bother me.

   Still, I know about most of my flaws. And I admit them! That's actually a good thing. You know your flaws, you can improve yourself better. Bonus: any criticism concerning your flaws are more easily blown off that way. Because you're already immunizing yourself against it and your own criticism is often worse than theirs. So, in the end, you're often better off.

   Does it still hurt? Yeah. Is the immunization instant? Nope. Should it be? Well, no. When you get sick, you have to heal first. The more you get sick, the more you'll be better off later.

   It takes a long time to build confidence, especially if you don't have it in the first place. I don't mean get cocky or proud, because that can hurt others with your arrogance. You might not thinks so, but they do.

   So, I've got some hobbies and favorite pass times. I've got insecurities. I'm me. Sometimes I don't like me. But I always love me. Because I'm imperfect. Because I'm not normal. Because no one can be me. And I can't be anyone else. That's it. That's really all there is. I'm me.

   Final thing for today. Look at this quote from Doctor Who. And just think about it. See ya tomorrow!

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things. But vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

-Kayla