Tell the Truth

   Hello and welcome! Check out the sidebar and anything else that catches your eye. Welcome back to anyone returning.

   Today was fun. Hanging out in the woods with my friends, though I ended up ahead of the group, listening to the noises of nature. While I loved all that and hope to do some walking again soon, that's actually not what I found most interesting today.
   There was some talk about trust and telling the truth. With this blog and being myself, being honest it something that I like to stand by. Even with my grudges against some others, I don't want to tell lies about them. Hence my acknowledging that my views of those who wronged me may be skewed.
   Still, I've never approved of rumors. Or bullying. Or lying. Lying is why I lost Carmen as a friend. I'd been opening up to her and Nora at the time more than I had to anyone else. Only those two at the time knew about my problems. As time went on, I admitted my fears, discovered the depression, and realized my social anxiety. As I figured that out, I shared what I could with them, too.
   Nora would help me when she could, but early on, neither of us knew how to help me. Carmen on the other hand, she'd give me great supporting friend messages, though they mirrored ones I'd write for her. Then things changed.
   Carmen went to another school, as I said. Gradually, she stopped keeping contact with me. Before she'd at least make an effort. Now it was mostly me. Emailing, messaging with Pinterest, texting if I could. The last time I saw her in person was shortly after school started. I won't go into all the details now of what'd happened, saving that for later.
   But in the last amount of time I had contact with her, I knew in the months coming up she'd changed. She might have care a little bit about Nora and myself, but I think it was disappearing fast. The lies are what made me leave.
   In our last conversation, she said that she'd never felt a real connection with me because I'd never stopped doing something else or opened up to her. Big slap in the face, right there. I have emails, texts, memories, and a whole ton of other things that disprove her statement. Later, when I said that I forgave her (sent a message through Abigail), she sent me an email further detaching herself from me and stating that she thought she didn't do anything wrong.

   I do have some resentment there, but I have more pity than that. She said I was one of the truest friends she knew. I'm sorry that she lost that, because I'd never give up on her, no matter how mad she made me. But she gave up on our friendship.
   Still, if she did come back, I probably wouldn't trust her again, but I still forgive her. And I'd still slap her if she dissed one of my other friends. I don't know. What do you all think? I'm going to lay out the whole story one of these days. Maybe during the summer. I don't know yet.
   What would you do? In my situation? Or in a similar one? I know that there's a way to do anonymous messaging, with an account here or not, I believe. Still, I'm curious as to what you all think.
   Until tomorrow!

-Kayla