Too "Young"

   Hey, everyone! Look, I'm getting better, only a day in between this post and the last. :)

   Yesterday was kind of off. I was thinking about Carmen again, for some reason having another imaginary confrontation. Someday that will go away. But it was the first one in weeks, so I think that's a good sign.

   Now, to my title. You know how adults are always saying that kids are "too young to understand" most things? Well, I don't look my age and even people who know my real age treat me as a child sometimes. It's normal for me to expect, nowadays.
   I understand in the instance where some teenagers or even older kids, around 10 and up, will act arrogant, thinking that they know everything. I know some adults like that too, so I don't really see a difference between the groups. But it's not the intelligence I'm talking about. It's the emotional stuff I'm talking about.
   Say, a family has gone through a divorce in the past and the kid is split between spending time with mostly one parent and little with the other, pretty much for all their life. Then, in that time period between childhood and adulthood, they hear adults talking, saying things like "you [teens, kids, etc.] don't know how tough it really is in the real world." Isn't that kind of sad?

   It's not easy being split apart. I remember when I was first betrayed by friends. It was painful, especially for my age and mentality. Then and now, I still believe in the good of others, no matter how deep inside. I blamed myself, because I'd thought I'd done something wrong.
   There was this teacher I had. Great guy. I looked up to him, even though he intimidated me greatly. He'd share with us some of the hardships he'd faced in life. And there were a lot. I won't share with you what they were, but it made him a great teacher.
   But it always bothered me how he'd talk about how we could never understand what it was like to reach rock-bottom. We couldn't understand the harshness of life because we'd never experienced it. And while I agreed, I also didn't.
   With this past year, I can understand more of what he meant. Some of me still thinks that my pain before was still real, even if it wasn't as big as Carmen's betrayal. Am I still old enough that it fits what he described? Pretty sure not by a long shot. But, even though I may or may not have hit rock bottom, I sure got pretty close. And I never want to go there again.

   Not a lot of things make me cry. It's really hard to get me to even tear up. A friend of mine were watching The Way Way Back together and she cried during some parts. Mind you, she hates emotions, so that was saying something. Sure, I was sad and touched by those parts, but I didn't cry.
   Thinking about the one day I was nearly consumed by my depression hurts. It doesn't make me cry, but it's always in the back of my mind, reminding me never to go there again. So it's made words that formerly were just interesting or touching, now makes them feel, well, real.
   I don't like Matt Smith as the Doctor for the reasons I believe most Whovian girls do. I like him for his acting and how he portrays his lines. Especially ones like these:

   Maybe to my teacher and to the rest of the world, I'm "too young". But with everything I've experienced up to now, for me, I'm both old and young at the same time. And I think that's how it's always been and will remain, for the rest of my life.

-Kayla