Decide

   Hey, everyone.

   There was something I once read that I found again recently. I've placed it here to go along with today's post:

   I've been thinking a lot about this. Mostly it's been in context with Carmen or with something my family said. Sometimes I've actually said something along these lines and it's just been rebuffed back at me as if I'm the one doing the wrong.
   But it can go with anything really. I've been hurt, intentionally or not. By strangers, by family, by friends. I'm used to it by now. I've been hurt, even when I'm already hurting. I've been disappointed and now kind of expect it. Which brings back another picture I haven't seen in an even longer time than the last, re-found just now:

   I've been thinking about this all day now. It's up to me. I have to decide.
   Am I still hurt? Yes.
   Will it keep hurting? Every now and then, yeah.
   Will it get better? Of course, eventually.
   Am I ever going to give up? Never.

   It's up to me to decide whether or not I'm going to let this hurt control me. Yes, I can cry, I can fall. As long as I get back up again and dry my tears. I'm never going to let go, because there's so much to stay for.
   Sometimes I think I'm too clingy. Other times I think I'm not clingy enough. I always try my best though to do one thing: Let others make their own decisions.
   My friends are my friends and they hold a special place in my heart. But they have their own lives, other friends, other things to do. They can stay or go. That's their choice.
   My choice is to help when I can, always offering that hand of friendship. Even to friends who left like Carmen. I can be mad, but that should never get in the way of kindness.
   That is my choice. This is what I decide:

   How about you?

-Kayla