I'm Back!

   Hey, guys. I'm so sorry for the month long absence. Times have been rough. Nothing really bad has happened, though I did have a breakdown, which my new friends were able to help with. Speaking of which, I've got something to ask.

   Now, I made this blog to help others like me. Others with depression and social anxiety. Anyone and everyone seeking words of comfort or support. Sadly, in recent months, I've been lacking in my promise to be here. I finally actually fulfilled my promise just this week to look for counseling.
   But I don't know how ready I am to come back here. It's been hard. And I need advice on what I think is a really stupid matter, at least to me it is.

   Remember those posts about liking some guy? Well, I thought I didn't like him anymore, but I still do, apparently. Being tired these past few days sort of revealed my subconscious feelings to my conscious mind again.
   I trust him, as much as my friends who I had to separate from some months ago. He's got those red flags, of course, but I'm also watching him grow up as these weeks go by. I found out that I'm falling for his potential self rather than his actual self, which stayed my feelings for a while. But, as I said, they're back.
   The only problem is that he likes someone else. Well, that's not the only problem, but it's a main one. I know nothing will ever come of my feelings for him. And I want to stop letting my feelings for him occasionally run my mood for the day, which has luckily only happened maybe three times in a little more than three months.

   Part of me wants to tell him. I mean, I've confided so much already and this secret is tearing me apart. How can I tell myself I fully trust my friend when I can't even tell him this?
   If I do tell him, it probably would be awkward for a while, but it seems like when he's talking with me, he's kinder than what most see. I know only a few others have seen it as well. He might just help me to get over him.

   But you're probably wondering why I'm blabbing on about some guy I met some months ago. The truth is, I need some advice.
   If you know anyone or can think of anything yourself, please comment or anonymously email me using the side form (found in the website, not mobile, version).
   He's growing to become one of my best friends. And I don't want to jeopardize that with some stupid crush. Please, help.

-Kayla