Time Goes By...

   Hey, everyone. I know it's been a while again. Getting back into the writing mode is harder than I thought it'd be. I'm trying, so I'm going to start how I did before. Something long and meaningful.

   When I started this blog, everything hurt. I didn't know what was going on in my life. Everything felt like it was crashing down around me. I was trying, but nothing seemed to be working.
   Now, if you've been following my blog, you know how much I hold value in friendship. Not long before I started this blog, I was stabbed in the back by one of the few I had. To add salt to the wound, I'd been dealing with heavy anxiety and depressive episodes. (I'm working on getting diagnosed for depression officially, so I'm trying to be careful in how I word this.)

   When I started, even here, behind a screen, I tried acting like I was okay. My peppy bright posts about something random were usually after when I had a day of "no thought". It hurt and I hated it. But on my worse days, I made some of my most important posts. Forgiveness, my most read, is one.
   I'm going to be honest, I didn't know how I was going to make it to the end of last year. I started going uphill, but then different events made me go back down into that hole again for varying reasons. I kept climbing, but each hit brought me down deeper again. Eventually I asked some friends to make sure I stopped dodging out of going into counseling. And, God bless them, they did. Even threatened to drag me in there themselves.

   I am so thankful for all of my friends. They mean the world to me and I don't even know how I managed to find some of them. After making a lot of quick-friends, it took some of my bad days to figure out who were real-friends. The others I don't talk to as much, mostly because they just wouldn't understand what I would go through with a split-second change.
   Now with several months now of only a few bad days, I'm still extraordinarily grateful for the friends I have. I'm making new memories that are slowly replacing the old. I've mentioned my new boyfriend a few times and he certainly helps me through a lot of all that. New, happier memories. Though I won't share how because even if they are chaste, they're still special private moments in my heart.

   My point is, time goes by. Good and bad. The worst times will pass. I don't think that I've gotten through the worst to ever happen to me, but now I have some solid footing, which I didn't really have before.
   Whatever comes, I'll be ready. And I hope to help others through their hard times, too. Cause if there's one thing I've learned from all this: You can't go through it alone.

-Kayla